ohmotherfather

I don't know what to say...

Part of me wants to have a blast and get seriously dead drunk on my birthday, the other just wants to keep it simple and not do anything at all since I already had a fulfilling meal with daddy on Saturday...

To party, who am I gonna call? Who am I supposed to invite? I think about this and it makes my heart ache knowing there isn't really a lot of people I can call. Oh wait, there's none. I am in such terrible social wreck I don't know where to begin with.

Yeah, and maybe I should just get so piss drunk to forget everything..




PS. I am not gonna reply to that particular 'you' because if I do, we are not going anywhere and I will ruin everything again. And I have nothing better or nice to say, so let's just keep it that way. I hope you'd stop texting me such stuff, it makes it difficult to move on...

I can't remember how many days it has been, maybe I just refuse to remember.

A part of me left. Parting ways was never easy. But sometimes, it is necessary. Some say it hurts being unable to be with the person you love. I think being together and having to fight can sometimes be more painful and waste of time. They say breaking up, the heart never breaks even, one party will hurt more than the other. But right now, hearts breaking even. Two people who loves each other can't do it anymore. We're tired. We tried. We're tired of trying.

Life goes on. For the both of us I hope. There is no more extension of deadlines, not much more we can say. But deep down in my heart, I sincerely wish you the best. I was unable to love you the right way, I hope the next that comes along the way does a better job. For all that matters, our relationship was once genuine and sincere...

Someone please enlighten me why some things are just so difficult to resolve when the solution is that simple?!

So much for saving money, somethings you just have to pay a buck or two more.. We are actually hiring her, we are not a charitable organization that we bring in homeless poor indonesians to live with us. She is employed, shouldn't she be providing us with a certain standard of service?!

I am never this particular about maids, neither am I that heartless and unreasonable. But to live with one who completely have no idea what the fuck I say to her, or can stare at the spilled milk in the refrigerator for a good 5 seconds that I have to tell her to clean it up before she move her big ass, that's too much ain't it? I tried to look pass the fact she ruined my shirt, didn't pack my mountain of pants and lost my bedsheets in the winds. Still, I don't think she is worth the amount we are paying for her and in addition, we are paying for her food and lodging. What sense is that?! Oh, and by the way, she irons my boxers, for fuck?!

I really don't care if she is from the village or from the past, but she should have some form of common sense and why she chose to work here. I am sure there is some for of maid's job scope in a language she can understand that she read it...


I don't mean to be evil. But we are the ones paying. Would you be satisfied for things you pay for and comes out like shit?!

Check-ins, four-sqaures, whatever the app that tells people where you are..

Well, what's that for anyway? I think it's just stupid to tell people where you are. Am I supposed to go look for you? Or am I supposed to feel impressed? What's the point of telling people where you are? Ain't it dangerous if you allow strangers to know where you are? They may kidnap you or break into your house knowing that you are not alone. Why do people create such application? 

1, I do not care where the fuck you are unless you are in Andromeda and there is bloody wifi there..
2, Refer to no.1.

I wish such pointless application can be deleted. I mean seriously, what is the point? Getting strangely annoyed with it. Do we really have to tell everyone what we are doing, where we are doing and who are we doing it with? 



"Huanni just checked-in to your house with your daddy"

jezuz.

I guess the most terrifying thing in the world is what lies in our future, what actually happens the next second in our life. 

This insecurity scares me. Same reason why I hate the dark. We fear what we don't know, what lies ahead. We fear uncertainty. I haven't really found the meaning in life. My classmates might probably laugh at that line. I laugh along. But think about it. What lies ahead?

Many should have secured their places in a university now that everyone is "grating" each other on Twitter. (I don't understand how you can actually go to one if you can't spell congratulations right) What happens if one day, that placement gets snatched away due to unforeseen circumstances? We can't say it wouldn't happen, we wouldn't know...

Me on the other hand has a future hazier than the densest fog. I don't have a place in a university, neither is my job secured.  I'm not even sure if getting a job right now is what I really want. Everyone around me tells me to 'think about it carefully'. Fuck yeah I am. If I weren't what makes you think I'm in such a dilemma? I know what I wanna do, but I just don't know where to start, which route to take. People give me different advices, one more tempting than the other.

That's life right? No doubt it is..

I wish I was back in Korea.

Or rather, I wish I'm right there for good. BBQ anytime I want. Have some naeng myung during the hot summers. Bat some balls whenever I feel like. Have good walks. Overdose of cute korean guys. Awesome kimchi anytime anywhere. Hardly any stupid Singaporeans. Life, will be good. I will see you soon Korea. Hopefully next year if Le Cordon Blue really works out.

My 4 days off main productivities had been FHA, painting and tonight's run after many months. I thought I was gonna die cause I didn't breathe right and there was insufficient blood in my head. And I will not surrender myself to death over a mere jog. That is just stupid, though it felt terrible.

The run was just an excuse for my recent appetite increment. I tore open the bag of chips, had 3 bars of chocolates today, and I just ended the night with Mac's cinnamon melt. It is unfortunate they do not have the blueberry melts anymore...

Sticky gooey warm spicy bread pieces.


Going to work tomorrow. I am kinda reluctant now... The relationship between makaedus and I are getting so intense now. In addition to the fact that I am kinda lonely cause mummy had gone far away.. I have 6 more lonely days to survive before she comes back. Did I mention I ever woke up early this morning to send her to the airport. I remember back then I would celebrate and party so hard whenever she leaves the country. Now I just miss her like shit... oh well..

A self-portrait. 


No, I kid... I wanted it to be in some funky colors like red. My itchy hands added some orange and it turn out like a baby monkey with jaundice. Mehhhhh. I find joy painting cute animals.

I might just sleep soon cause the internet connection is just balls. My room is like, the blind spot. Open net isn't much use. I hate technology.... Not you Makaedus. I prefer to think of you as my soul mate..

Boy did I not regret a single second at FHA. Much love to YiYang who is so kind to give me one of the complimentary pass which saves me $80 on entrance fee.



So I was there, pretended I was a very keen buyer so I get really good services and gain a lot of knowledge on various stuff. Not a fan of any food tasting. Nibbled on some cheese and some frozen strawberry yoghurt(which is by far the best I've ever eaten. Great stuff.


Life abalone...



Lobsters from somewhere....


Looks like you....



It is unfortunate it died of a young age..



Tomatoes....



CHeeeeeeeeeeeese


Macaronssssss



SOme really cool display/cooling chamber




Some hot italian pastry chef fondling fondant...



And that's about it.. the other pictures are just not picture worthy. Rather, they are for my own reference.. Am glad only to see Daniel Kang and Ben there. Everyone else there just turns me off. (inserts company's name) can kiss my ass... Today had been a fruitful one after 2 days of lazing and recovering from some serious heartache damage...

Had a great time at a colleague's farewell chalet. Was great to see Peter again. He is one person whom I really respect. He is already running Canele's brand even before 30. If that isn't capability, I don't know what is. With him sharing his plans on  Canele's expansion. All I can say is much respect. Of course, it will be great to work under him again. That few people who believe me and what I can do and not belittle me. For such people like Peter, I will work hard and prove everyone wrong. If you ever read this Peter, I just wanna say thank you and thank god that I met you.

It's gonna be a week without my best friend/mother. I am gonna be so lonely:'(

\

It's been a while since I took pictures with my pink camera...

The thing is, my photos needed to be uploaded to photo bucket for me to paste it in my blog. It has been ages since I last posted a picture on my blog hence photo bucket. And I thank god that I got to see the old photos, very very old. I must say, I am glad I did. It reminded me what simple pleasures were like, how being happy was and how easy it was.

Thank you for teaching me how to love. Though right now, I am not confident if I can do the same to anyone now... We've been through quite a bit.   I admit, there were countless of times I wished we could go back to how it was. But no, I am never gonna ruin what we have now. Something more precious I hope. Regardless, I wish you all the best and would still wanna be there when you fall just like the last. I love you more now. My dearest friend:)

To the sir who is some manager at (inserts company's name),

I had been utterly disappointed with how you handle the recent recruitment for (inserts event's name). Not that I am upset that I am not chosen(well, a little but that's not the point) I am absolutely turned off by how you do not have the slightest courtesy to inform me that I am not needed. I admit that it might be partially due to the fact that I was unable to attend the meeting THREE FUCKING DAYS before the even. Oh, that's not the only unpleasant issue. You nonchalantly walk to our school asking for help. You decided to be all kind and shit and ended up not conducting interviews claiming that you would like all of our services. Fair enough, my hopes were high, I was bloody excited. Now look what you did. You destroyed my wish of going for the event which I was hoping to go, not for the extra money that I might get (but now I can't) but the bloody event. 

That's not the main point sir. The thing that fucks me up, was that I FUCKING TOO 4 DAYS OFF THINKING THAT I MIGHT BE OF HELP TO YOU. You have any idea that is $256 pay flying away? Unfortunately I am getting no compensation but double disappointments. What took you so long to confirm our attendance any huh? Well I have my Mac's installment to pay off, I've got other bills to pay. That $265 cost me a lot. Who is gonna compensate me fool?!

Here's a summary of what you should have done.

1. conducted the bloody interview
2. call us earlier
3. call us that we weren't need EARLY
4. SUCK YOUR OWN DICK

I hope you get fired. 


Nah, I'm not so mean. I hope the event booth burns down. You'll survive.

k, guess I was pretty harsh on the whole issue before this. I take it back that i said none can be called my friends. Just got caught in a moment of anger and PMS.